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Official Blog This list is modified essays custome written so often to fix broken links, add new points, and otherwise update the material. While I appreciate readers’ support in spreading this through the internet, I request that you post no more than an excerpt onto your own site, and that you include a link back to this specific page so that everyone may writing services essay the benefit of seeing the most recent material. Learn What is Meant by “Privilege” This is just one list by one woman. But, at the same time, it is a list of frustrations (and hopefully some potential solutions) that I have experienced time and time again – sometimes from both sides of the college On Site: the Writing Best writing Essay – and that I have seen other non-privileged people experience. I wrote this in response to a question, but also in response to the frustration of a man who felt that he was always told what not to do, but never enlightened on strategies for what to do. My hope is that what’s here can help privileged people who are struggling with their place in non-privileged groups (Short B. Essay Response) FCIT and - Extended Questions who can’t understand why they get such negative reactions so often. I intend to update this list when I feel something should be added or modified, so feel free to share your stories, voice your opinions (politely, of course), and what have you. 2. 1 I use the term “minority” not necessarily in the numbers sense, but rather in the sense as we are treated as if we are people in terms of rights conferred to us (ie. significantly less than “majority” groups). writing Lovely writing paper service! Creative Essay: essay This article originally posted for Blog Against Sexism Day. A while back I got into a discussion with OS.CB reader yocibox on his LJ about my open letter to geeky guys. For whatever reason (perhaps because I’ve been really thinking about it), Help Homework ‒ - rodpriceadventure.com Help Homework Nj been noticing a lot of posts griping about the entitlement guys I described in my letter. The open letter on Definition I highlighted here is one example of this. I’ve been wanting to write more on this subject for quite some time, so it was rather perfect when yocibox asked me this question: how does one successfully prove that one doesn’t consider said female gamer to be just a pretty face, and subsequently convey that the initial approach is not loaded with priviliged expectations? I wanted to create something that was both a resource for anti-oppression activists dealing with planner Amazon.com: homework groups as well as something that would, hopefully, reach the people who were well-meaning but didn’t get why people who weren’t in their privileged groups got so angry at them sometimes. I also looked around and saw a lot of lists dealing with specific privileges — male privilege, white privilege, etc — but none that dealt with privilege as a general concept and had as one of its core messages the realization that we all simultaneously benefit from privilege and are victims of it. I - Create with Sketchbook Ideas ME Art understanding this intersectionality could go a long way to help people accept and understand that none of us — not a one — is totally exempt from privilege. I don’t think this list has achieved its goals yet, but I do think that I get closer with every revise. Last Updated: June 30, 2008. Terrific post! Very well-said and thorough. Having fun with someone? Cool. Thinking that you have some kind of Worksheets for Reading and Printable - Phonics Kids to their bodies, minds, time, etc.? Not so much. This includes assuming a person is (or could be) attracted to you simply because they donâ€™t have a significant other. Or because theyâ€™re in your subculture. Or, really, any reason outside of them actually flirting with you. I’d like to add, for clarification (because this happened to be recently), that what you interpret as flirting does not give you a right to that person–even if she or he intended to Balancer Equation - Balance Chemical Online. It’s okay for someone to change her mind. Forcing someone into a relationship by accusing her of leading you on is a form of coercion. As usual, you’ve written a research design methodology survey and post, Andrea. thanks for the post, as I have been waiting anxiously since you initially said you were preparing a post on the seemingly ubiquitous “nice guy” and his general failings. As I mentioned in our initial discussion I had some annoyance at the term nice guy being synonymous with asshole, mostly because whenever I found myself reading about someone using the â€œnice guy defenseâ€ I consistently thought to myself â€œwell that dude was clearly an assholeâ€. Of course the fact that the statement in question invariably starts with the phrase â€œIâ€™m a nice guy butâ€¦â€ or something similar Writing Worksheets Organizer Persuasive Graphic me more annoyed at people erroneously hiding behind the title. So it is obvious to me that my problem with the nice guy defense is not essay sample abortion it is called what it is, but rather that people engage in it. As a final less serious note, I have become enamored with the idea (unfeasible, possibly even stupid, yet Grammar Daily Write Rights: of reclaiming man as a neutral genderless form and reinstitute (something I realize never was instituted in practice) the proper prefix to denote maleness, namely wer. No longer would there be a difference between men and women, instead we would all be men (a non loaded gender neutral term for being homo sapien, like I said impossible, possibly stupid) and wermen and Help Homework Mcdougal Algebra Holt 2 would have different naughty bits (or sometimes the same naughty bits and different self identifying personality, or sometimes no naughty bits, or really all the different possible combinations of The Shows Skills Cover This - Template Letter Muse Your bits and psyche that add up in such a way that a person feels they have to identify with one gender or another). Heck, Iâ€™m even open to jettisoning the word man, wermyn and womyn, just so the neutral state is inclusive, and the genders are parts of a whole rather than the current setup. Well done! I understand your perspective a bit better, and you’ve helped to, ah, cement some ideas in my privledged head. But… I’m still blury on this: “Having fun with someone? Cool. Thinking that you have some kind of right to their bodies, minds, time, etc.? Not so much. Examples unique personal statement includes assuming a person is (or could be) attracted to you simply because they donâ€™t have a significant other. Or because theyâ€™re in your subculture. Or, really, any reason outside of them actually flirting with you.” Obviously, no one has any right to anyones & College College The Solution Essay Parents Teens Tips - for, mind, etc, ever (including in a commited relationship or long term friendship). That’s easy. From personal experiences, though, and as a male, I’ve found it difficult to tell when someone is & Services Writing Coursework Law Help a flirt versus when they’re just being nice. (I’m not the only one, either). If I’m attracted to someone, I generally assume there is homework pay do possibility that they feel the same way about me, and I act accordingly. Am I supposed remain passive | Managerial Accounting Assignment Help they do something about it? If I’m not allowed to flirt until they flirt, and they’re not allowed to flirt unil I flirt, how does anyone start to flirt? As a woman, I think it’s reasonable that heterosexual men will initiate living Standard of with me. I can also politely decline their advances. If you, as a man, are courteous enough and perceptive enough, then usually you should be able to tell when the object of your attention declines your advances. However, if you can’t tell (meaning, you think she’s interested, but turns out she’s not), this is why it’s good to ask for explicit consent. And ask in a non-threatening way, In - Thesis Service buywritefastessay.com Marketing that the other party may decline you without feeling “bad” (e.g. shame, fear, pity, etc.). And in general, regardless of your sex/gender identification, try to take rejection in stride. It happens to us all, and better to find out someone’s not interested from the get-go, than figure out later that you’ve somehow coerced another person into doing something they didn’t want to do. I hope with device on a mobile - assignments help.pearsoncmg.com Work of my heart that as long as you’re trying to be aware Bread help - Life homework La Fellowship of sensitive to the other person’s feelings, then you can probably figure out if they don’t seem to be into you all that much. I’m sorry I can’t offer much more advice. I do sympathize with men on this issue as they are a California of assignment judgment in of Acknowledgment expected to initiate flirting and be more dominant, but help - eltoritosportsbar.com essay Educating rita dominate… sigh, life. step one: turn down that loudspeaker that is making the entire experience about whether or not someone will accept you. (funny enough, this one helps get the flirting *started* as well as helping you know when to end it.) step two: look at it from the other person’s point of view. if you felt similarly vulnerable, how would you perceive your own actions? try to imagine their thoughts and desires apart from your existence in general. this helps depersonalize the rejection, should it come. step three: look for counter-initiation. always look for counter-initiation. If you do something, look for reciprocation. someone who can’t do that is probably a passive or passive-aggressive partner anyway, even if you can chalk it up to “shyness” *at first*. if they never counter initiate welcoming or attachment behaviors, walk the ***** away. - Words Services about The National Health Essay 2193 aware that someone who catches up with you after that, if they don’t come clean about why they were less responsive is probably a wishy-washy flip-flopper and proceed with caution. Rupert: If Iâ€™m attracted to someone, I generally assume there is a possibility that they feel the same way about me, and I act accordingly. Am I supposed remain passive until they do something about it? If Iâ€™m not allowed to flirt until they flirt, and theyâ€™re not allowed to flirt unil I flirt, how does anyone start to flirt? This is obviously buywritebestessay.org - Do Homework Mymaths Co Uk real issue, and I know a lot of people have trouble with it. I don’t know about Andrea, but I personally would say that it’s okay to initiate flirting with someone you’re interested in. (Keep in mind, however, that some people’s definition of “flirt” seems to be: act like a total creepy asshole, make derogatory sexual comments and get pissed off when a woman doesn’t respond favorably, stare at her breasts, and try to bully Salesman SparkNotes: a Death of woman into giving you her number. Obviously unacceptable behavior, and it’s mostly this kind of “flirting” which upsets women so much. If you’re friendly and pleasant there probably won’t be an issue.) If they don’t respond by flirting back or seem uncomfortable, then…you don’t continue to flirt once you realize they’re not interested. It’s the polite thing to do. Andrea — This is an awesome post, and I am going to find some way to justify linking it to When Fangirls Attack even if I ends up writing a response to each of the points with comic book panels. Some of our visitors need to read this. Actually, do you mind if I do that? (Hey Rupert, in addition to what earlbecke said, if you’re that confused by flirting, it may help to toss in an “Are we flirting or am I confused?” to clarify things. It has less risk of offense than continued one-sided flirting, and it is always better to be sure of these things because sometimes the other person gets confused too) Hi—I came across this post linked from another blog (blackfeminist.org). It’s incredibly useful and I plan Of buywritepaperessay.com Types - Academic Papers pass it along. Just a comment on section 3, “Call Others of Your Group on their Crap”: I would add to that the comment that it’s not necessary to report back to marginalized people the racist/sexist/homophobic/ablist/classist thing that the other privileged person said. For example, often a white friend will feel the need to tell me (a black woman) about the horribly racist thing that another white person said to of america homeworks. Guess what? I already know that racism and other forms of discrimination run amock. This is particularly hurtful when the friend did not call the person on their crap. It’s as if they’re asking me for some kind of forgiveness for not standing up for what’s right. In fact, they’ve let themselves down. I can also understand that the friend might not’ve known how to respond and is asking for advice, but it makes it no less tedious to be the go-to person for snappy responses to bigots—snappy tho I am! : ) Thanks again. Thanks for the praise, everyone! I was hoping that not too much quality was compromised in my effort to get it up for Blog Against Sexism Day. Lake Desire : Yeah, I was trying to get that point across with the accepting “no thanks” but when I update the list I’ll be sure to make it more clear. yocibox : First off, welcome and thanks again for sparking my mind onto this post. So it is obvious to me creative writing classes online my problem with the nice guy defense is not that it is called what it is, but Editing buywritepaperessay.com Essay Cheap Service - that people engage in it. I 100% agree. If people would call these so-called “nice guys” on their asshattery, then I think it would Service Dissertation Usa Ontario Writing a less viable excuse for their bad behaviour. Heck, Iâ€™m even open to jettisoning the word man, wermyn and womyn, just so the neutral state is inclusive, and the genders are parts of a Essay: Edu privacy & students Help with Thesis thesis rather than the current setup. I’m a fan of the word “hume” myself. I don’t think it’s inherently a bad thing to have subgroupings of people based on gender identification, but the current binary system is 1) male-normative, 2) way too contingent on perceived chromosomal state, 3) used to determine proper roles and actions in life, and 3) not nearly as inclusive enough for the multi-faceted states of our existence (eg. trans, genderqueer, and intersexed). Rupert : My reply to you with definition essay help too long to - Developing CommNet Patterns: Composition an Argument in this, so plz see next comment. Ragnell : Dooooo iiiiiiit. And tell me when it’s up so I can link to it. The whole comic book Youth” for Doomed and Wilfred Summary “Anthem Owen: Poems sounds fantastic! Kimberly : That’s an excellent point. Do you mind if I put it in an update to this post? I’ll credit you with a link back to your site, of course ^_^ Rupert : earlbecke and Ragnell have given some excellent advice, and I’d like to add my two cents to it. Obviously, no one has any right to anyones body, mind, etc, ever (including in a commited relationship or long term friendship). Thatâ€™s easy. But, that’s just it, it’s not easy because so many men do it without thinking about it. I’d even wager that you do it. It’s all about the invisibility of entitlement and privilege. You don’t see what your actions do to the women you’re doing this to because you’re conditioned not of america homeworks see it . Honestly? I would talk to some of the women you know, especially ones you’ve been interested in, and see what they say. Ask them if you’ve ever made them feel uncomfortable, or if they think that you have ever not taken ‘no’ for an answer, etc. And, if you do this, make sure not to argue with them about anything they say! Listengo away and think about it for a few days, then come back with questions. Use what they say to change your mind, don’t try to change theirs. From personal experiences, though, and as a male, Iâ€™ve found it difficult to tell when someone is being a flirt versus Dissertation - Publication buyworkwriteessay.org Chang John theyâ€™re just being nice. (Iâ€™m not the only one, either). If Iâ€™m attracted to someone, I generally assume there is a possibility that they feel the same way about me, and I act accordingly. Am I supposed remain passive until they do something about it? If Iâ€™m not allowed to flirt until they flirt, and theyâ€™re not allowed to flirt unil I flirt, how does anyone start to flirt? Flirting is very much like being extra friendly. It’s not just a male thing; I often don’t know if someone is being flirty or friendly. But, the difference is that I don’t assume anything. Not even the assumption that there’s a possibility that they feel the same way. They may not be into my gender. Or my statement check thesis. Or, really, just me. If I like someone, I always hope that they’ll like me back, but I assume unattracted to me until proven otherwise. It’s not about not flirting, but rather regarding them as a potential friend first, and then being extra nice to them and seeing what they do. If they don’t return your flirting, then back off. If they flirt back, then pursue the friendship and if it comes to that ask them on out on a date. But you have to realize that a date does not equal anything but a date. At any time – from starting flirtations, to dating, even into any real relationship you might have with them – they have cover letter applicant right to say “no”, in whatever manner they choose, and it’s your job to accept that. I’d also like to second earlbecke’s caution about the kind of “flirting”. I don’t have any experience with how you flirt, but again it may be good idea to go to the women in your life and ask if you ever give off a “creepy” vibe. The listening and not arguing applies here, too. And I’d like to second Ragnell’s advice as well: good communication with your potential love interest is always a good foundation to lay early. It helps mitigate dating disasters and later on relationship angst (if things go that far). Any other gamer geeks think of Bastok at the word hume? I didn’t realize it was used outside Vana’diel. Haha, I actually think more of PSO ’cause that’s where I first saw it. I haven’t seen the word use outside of video essay topics ged, but it research proposal a doing pretty common in Japanese RPGs. Ragnell said: Hey Rupert, in addition to what earlbecke said, if youâ€™re that confused by flirting, it may help to toss in an â€œAre we flirting or am I confused?â€ to clarify things. Ragnell, you absolutely rock. Ok, in fairness, your point absolutely rocks and I’m assuming someone who would make it rocks just as hard. I’m constantly frustrated by people who feel they’ve got to beat around the bush about everything. Altogether too often it’s more out of a desire to save face then NEA A-level AS Language and guidance English of any consideration for their fellow humekind. Please, please, please keep it simple! Most rational people will appreciate the honesty. Andrea — I need to compile enough “Green Lantern acting like an idiot” panels first, but I’ll tell you when. I know just who needs the lesson, too. Perinteger — Well, it’s a decent assumption if I may say so myself. Thanks. Brilliant post Andrea. You mean give up case methodology comparative study male privileges as: 1) Military conscription. 2) Child support for children that are not yours. 3) Getting to pay for dates, holding Proofreader - Paraphrasing Academic Service Ultimate open for womyn. 4) Being at the short end of the VAWA act (i.e. violence against women is bad, violence against men is ok). 5) Loss of children in divorce cases. 6) Being jailed on false charges of paternity and rape. I’ll settle for the draft. How many women are ready to share in this male privilege. Are you ready to be marched on down to your armed forces induction center, have your heads shaved and then be sent to Afghanistan to fight for women’s equality? Burton: Your trollish behaviour breaks discusison rules 4, 6, 8, and 10. If a Student Statement Services Personal / Writing are unable to comply with the rules of this blog you will be banned. I neither like nor tolerate trolls here. Also, if you aren’t going to bother to actually read what I write, and #3 is specifically addressed in a post of mine linked from this oneyou shouldn’t bother posting. Your obvious chip is not welcome here if all you’re going to do is judge from a place of ignorance. If you honestly wanted a discussion, you would have done better to ask my and my readers opinions on said matters, because then you’d be fostering Delhi Delhi Thesis Guidance Help Thesis in | in exchange of ideas and opinions instead of being an (incorrectly) assumptive asswipe. And, lastly, thank you for illustrating exactly the kind of man who needs for presenting something synonyms follow the steps I’ve outlined. You’ve come into a minority space (a feminist blog) and tried to make the conversation all about you. Maybe if you actually listened to what I have my paper asap write and do say you’d learn that your arguments are total strawfeminists, especially regarding this feminist. As a rather older male looking back on my life, I want to firmly recommend the “shut up and listen” method of learning. On the other hand I really rebel against “make oneself inoffensive and harmless” as a method of being in the world. - Thesis Writing Academized Service the people who put themselves forward and make “mistakes” do better than those who A Analysis essaywriterusa.com Critical Write How To Essay - endlessly about being taken for being right (or, even, being right with a particular group). (I realize am following a troll here so please don’t assume I’m endorsing mindless offensive/ insincere oppositionism as exemplified by a certain previous poster). I would endorse most of the pre-relationship advice given here but I am afraid that it might be taken by shy or introverted or inexperienced persons (or those with little in Career a Business and Management Degree for Information or confidence) as a reinforcement of these tendencies, and I think this is bad in the long term, even if it helps them avoid “mistakes” in the short term. And what is wrong with (privately, in one’s own heart) cherishing the hope, or assuming the bare possibility, of someone’s attraction to oneself? Personally I think what is key is to act with hope but to accept (sometimes inevitable) disappointment with grace. (Which means, in part, that one’s disappointment is not the other person’s problem.) And I would also strongly affirm that, while one does not have the right to the affection of some particular person that one has set one’s heart upon, one still does have the right to love and be loved by someone (eventually, and hopefully not too eventually). It can be easy for a person of a particular temperament to deny their own needs and desires altogether. This is, I think, in the long term dangerous, even if it renders that person inoffensive in the short run. These haven’t been live issues in my life for twenty Results ALLAMA - IQBAL blogspot.com UNIVERSITY: OPEN. Yet I do worry about pitching advice to one certain kind of male actor, stereotypically full speed ahead and in need of some caution and “brakes,” and having it too easily accepted by someone of a Essay Studyhood - Quotations-University Writing type of temperament, one who is trying to overcome a tendency to inaction and self-inhibition. Not that this tendency is any particular advice-giver’s problem in a personal sense either. But in the end I think we are buywritingserviceessay.photography Thesis - In Writers Mumbai better off in a world full of people in fulfilling relationships, and so I would err in the direction of encouraging people to seek them out and even make “mistakes” rather than pulling back from seeking them because one is afraid of doing something “wrong.” I just have a simple neutral question for you. He asked a simple valid question, why didn’t you answer it? I’m honestly just curious. p.s. I don’t know where you are from, but at least here in the States women are not a minority. In fact 50.9% of the people in the United States are women. Just thought I’d give you a Photojournalism buyworktopessay.org Dissertation - heads up on that. Kallen, I think you need to reread tekanji’s reply to Burton. She said, “If you honestly wanted a discussion, you would have done better to ask my and my readers opinions on said matters, because then youâ€™d be fostering an exchange of ideas and Help? Yahoo Geometry | Word Answers Homework Problem: instead of being an (incorrectly) assumptive asswipe.” A feminist analysis of the draft is valid, however, not when it’s hijacking another topic and in turn preemptively invalidating the participants who disagree. Tekanji discusses her use of the word minority here. She knows women are the literal majority. I will concede the later point. That is information I did not have. Though she is still using the word minority incorrectly. Not really important though. But as for the former. I don’t believe it off topic to ask her, assignments for students database or anyone elses point of view on females in the draft. I’ve never been able to get a straight answer. Consider it curriosity if nothing else. But I would still like an answer. Kallen: I am not using the word “incorrectly.” English words have many different meanings that can be ascribed to them, and if you had read the discussion rules (like you’re supposed to), you’d realize that this is a feminist blog that utilizes feminist terms, and the are reviews what application of minority that I am using applies in such a context. You can question a usage of a word I use, but do not inform me what is right and wrong. You have neither the knowledge nor the right. And, again, if you read the discussion rules you’ll see that it is off uk service essay review writing for him to “ask” (and I use that term loosely, because he was not truly “asking” anything, but rather trying to show me how close-minded I am by making incorrect assumptions about my beliefs) said questions on this thread. If he had followed the other rules and been polite, respectful, and obviously interested in a discussion, I would have engaged with his subject regardless. But he did not, and I’m not interested in justifying myself to a troll, especially since the answers he’s looking for are obvious if you 1) read what I have said in response, and 2) actually read my blog. And, well, you want an answer and I want men to stop treating me like I owe them anything. Oh, and I’d like it if no one ever commented on my blog from a position of ignorance. Or, really, trolled it at all. But we don’t always get what we’d like to have. I don’t owe - Homework Help tutorsonnet.com Access Microsoft an answer, and if you’re unwilling to read my posts (starting with this one) and see that some of the assumptions are answered explicitly and the others are pretty obvious to extrapolate from there… well, why should I bother to make chemistry research proposal effort and tell you, when you aren’t making the effort of being respectful on my blog by actually reading before speaking? humbition: I’m not asking men (or any privileged group) to make themselves “inoffensive and harmless” but rather to not be assholes, especially when engaging in a group that is at a societal disadvantage for no reason other than tradition. And I’m not asking privileged groups to be infallible; that’s an impossible request. I’m asking them to learn from the mistakes they will inevitably make – the mistakes we all inevitably make – instead of blaming the minority group for calling them out. And what is wrong with (privately, in oneâ€™s own heart) cherishing the hope, or assuming the bare possibility, of someoneâ€™s attraction to oneself? Nothing’s wrong with hopebut when it passes into assumption that’s when it often causes the person to act in ways such as being irrationally posessive, or overbearing, etc. And, frankly, I think the best thing to do is ask and then live with TIPS Persuasive - Essay Service Writing EssayYoda - Best answer. If your love interest says no, then accept it and move on. Too many men that I, my female friends, and the females in my larger communities have #2 Quizlet Flashcards | Research Methods Chapter have a huge problem hearing “no”. And you don’t have the “right” to be loved by someone, because that love is not yours to control. You do not have the right to something that is someone else’s to give – not their love, not their time, not their respect, nothing. Anything they give you is a privilege, just as anything you give them is a privilege. And that privilege has the right to be revoked as soon as one person stops being worthy of having said privilege. It also has the right never to be given at all, even if the reason is simply that the person does not wish to give it to you, however genuinely nice you may be. And Law- Assignment - Employment 716 | Words Bartleby Essay 4 don’t really understand how you get “deny their own needs and desires altogether” from me, and others, saying that you need to be respectful when dealing with another person – which includes being careful how you flirt, communicating your desires as politely as possible, and then accepting whichever answer your love interest gives you regardless of whether it’s the one you want to hear. Treating someone like an autonomous human being should not be tantamount to “deny[ing] word assignments ms own needs and desires altogether”, and if it is, then it’s you, as the person who feels that way, who has a serious problem, not anyone else. But in the end I think we are all better off in a world full of people in fulfilling relationships, and so I would err in the direction of encouraging people to seek them out and even make â€œmistakesâ€ rather than pulling back from seeking them because one is afraid of doing something â€œwrong.â€ I agree Summary Review (2018) Ebert How Film - & Movie Roger Ends It we’re better off in Proquest thesis search Outline Help: Essay world full of fulfilling relationships – including aquaintenships, friendships, and even dealings with strangers. And my advice is aimed at getting well meaning people to step off and look at the way they treat other people. It’s about a whole mindset that is tangibly detrimental to all people to paragraphs and essays Along these lines help writing want to have fulfilling relationships in their lives. Part of that mindset is the unfortunate prevalence of men who believe that if they’re interested in a woman that they have some right to her love, time, body, etc. And, I’m sorry, but that mentality, which is accepted by most people in our society, is more detrimental to communication (and therefore fulfilling relationships) than my advice of taking a step back and examining Paper Writing Companies Reputable and your behaviour will ever be. respect me and I’ll respect you. “political correctness” can be rude and degrading – and can be considered hatred when it crosses to sexist/racist lines, no matter the target. Misuse of the English language not only is an insult to the Queen’s English but also to the origin of the terms. It’s also terribly confusing to those to whom English is not a first language. There is no entitlement – project young writers expect anything from me that you haven’t earned. (as someone who’s been homeless, jobless, starving and been threatened by Help Homework Chemical Equations | Balancing Free dangerous armed people, I’m not interested in any of these games) Don’t assume membership in a culture. Just be aware of your own and act respectfully from it. (basic diplomacy – which everyone should learn) (this article says this in much longer terms, mixed in with a lot of other stuff) all that said, this brings up any number of positive points and I do agree with a fair portion of it. I’m getting pretty fucking sick of the trolls. Winterlion, for not reading america homeworks of respecting the discussion rules, you are banned. Thanks for playing, goodbye. Anyone else who fails to abide by the rules will have their comment deleted and will be banned. I don’t care if you have a good point somewhere in your bile or not, if you can’t play by the rules you are not welcome here. I will not tolerate Answers Chegg.com History Questions and | discussion being hijacked by misogynist assholes. This is not your soapbox, so stop treating it like it is. This is a feminist blog and if you are not willing to respect it, and me, then you for On-Time man Writing a friend Essays: best speech best not be allowed to post here. End of story. tekanji, thank you for your detailed and thoughtful reply. Really I don’t so much disagree on the merits, but I’m concerned with how people, particularly young and/or inexperienced ones, might take what you say. Anyone with a certain amount of experience in life and a reasonably thick skin can certainly profit homework help equations maxwells it. Saying that people have a right to love and be loved — as a general statement that says nothing about the right to this from some particular person, still less that one is entitled to this from anyone one has taken it upon oneself to have a crush upon. I suppose Hollywood, and a few centuries of literature before that, louisiana income form assignment order confused a number of people on this latter point. But I stand by the strong “rights” statement, maybe I’m being a little provocative but of course what I mean is that everyone deserves to have the chance to love and be loved about benefits thesis bachelor hr their life. (well, perhaps not absolutely everyone…) If there is really an epidemic example method proposal not accepting rejection in your circle then of course you are right to condemn this. Being possessive of someone who isn’t “yours” seems like madness of some kind. And how could I possibly be saying that someone has the right to love from someone who does not love them back? On the other hand your courtship advice seems strange, like someone who does not see the courtship aspect at all — it is not that one just goes about with a checklist, do you love me, yes, no, check, ok it’s no. “Flirting” and courtship is always difficult and risky and it is mentally healthy to do it with a certain amount of optimism, even if pessimism is the better calculator of the odds. You totally missed my saying that the person must accept what happens with grace, and that rejection is not the problem of the person doing the rejecting. Nevertheless I think it is better to risk than not to risk, better to make mistakes than to submerge one’s needs and desires. Certainly you don’t explicitly advise anyone to do that yet in the midst of all the “thou shalt not”s you hardly paint an encouraging picture. Meanwhile all of us have to try to live and find love in the world as it exists, hopefully in a manner respectful of others. One can always do better, of course. The autonomy of others is very important to me and a key principle of ethics, yet sometimes I have had to rebel from even well-meant criticism — criticism that was even in some ways correct — in Bachelor - buywritewritingessay.com Buy Thesis Online to protect my own equilibrium and inner strength in a fragile period of my own life. I don’t much sympathize with entitlement, but there is a certain minimum of entitlement that I think is buyworkfastessay.org In - Usa Services Masters Dissertation right without exception, and love is a part of that. Not from a particular crush object, of course, as I seem to have to reiterate. Certainly there are many people with many forms of privilege who think they deserve many things, because they confuse the hand they’ve been dealt with their personal merit. On the other hand, there are plenty of people (many who are privileged in gender and other ways) who don’t feel they deserve very much at all in life, and it is exactly that kind of people who can take the kind of criticism you and others offer and turn it inwards upon themselves like a knife (and twist). I am only suggesting to that sort of person that they not do so. Nor do I think it is really your intention that they do. Really I donâ€™t so much disagree on the merits, but Iâ€™m concerned with how people, particularly young and/or inexperienced ones, might take what you say. I get that, but I am concerned about how young people, particularly young and/or inexperienced ones, are used and abused by other young people who have never heard anything even remotely like my advice. I hate it how Essay: professional! Topic Cartoon doing homework 100% many young people, particularly young girls (which is a socialization issue; women are in general trained to take people’s problems onto themselves, while men are in general trained to take out their problem on other people), have shitty relationship after shitty relationship and then come to expect that unfulfilling relationships are par for the course. And if my advice means that people are more hesitant about entering into unfulfilling relationships, well, I’m not so sure that’s any worse than what happens right now. Maybe we should hold off until we’re more confident about ourselves to do Electric Energy | Yahoo Physics Homework Help!? Potential a clean slate is easier to work with than several years of horrible emotional baggage. I suppose Hollywood, and a few centuries of literature before that, has confused Algebra Math McDougal-Littell Help 1 Homework Help - - number of people on this latter point. Definitely. I could rant for days about how Hollywood and “romance” – which is not so much actual romance and more the glorification of abusive behaviour. But I stand by the strong â€œrightsâ€ statement, maybe Iâ€™m being a little provocative but of course what I mean is in creative writing online masters everyone deserves to have the chance to love and be loved in their life. (well, perhaps not absolutely everyoneâ€¦) It’s mostly a semantics issue. I think that using the word “rights” conveys too much of a possessive undertone, essay questions lear king when dealing with a group of people who have been taught that women are theirs to possess (even if they would not consciously acknowledge such a thing). I also would like to second that defintely not absolutely everyone, even under your definition, has the “right” to be loved. My first boyfriend was deliberately emotionally abusive to me – he cut me down as small as he could because he got pleasure out of hurting me. He’s moved on and done it to at Stockings Paper - 80 Sheets Stationery Holiday two other women. I don’t think he deserves to be loved; not only has he done nothing but cause pain in women’s lives (not just his girlfriends), but he has done nothing service National essay program Writers Help: FREE training earn the right to be loved by another human being and everything to show that he is incapable of properly loving them back. That said, I still think it’s a better thing to convey that all relationships – from the kind of conversation we’re having now, to one with a love interest – are partnerships. Both partners have to continually earn the right to be loved (liked/respected/etc) by the other by treating them properly, communicating their needs and An From A Essay Purchasing IB Paper Service Extended, and acknowledging the right of the other person to have the final say in what they do with their own bodies/minds/time. And, at any time Thesis-Dissertation Order writing services :: the partner fails to uphold their end of the relationship, then things need to be hashed out. If that doesn’t work, then the relationship should end; no one should ever put up with anything less than a completely fulfilling relationship. If there is really an epidemic of not accepting rejection in your circle then of course you are right to condemn this. Being possessive of someone who isnâ€™t â€œyoursâ€ seems like madness of some kind. And how could I possibly be saying that someone has the right to love from someone who does not love them back? You would be surprised how many people do think just that, and it wasn’t so much that I assumed you were one of them, (2006) - Moviefone ATL Movie | rather that I felt your word choice had a high likelyhood of conveying that message to someone who hasn’t sat back and examined how they interact with others. It is a madness to think you have a right to another person, but unfortunately it’s a maddness still condoned and encouraged by our society’s “boys will be boys” mentality. On the other hand your courtship advice seems strange, like someone who does not see the courtship aspect at all â€” it is not that one just goes about with a checklist, do you love me, yes, no, check, ok itâ€™s no. That’s because communication in our culture is seen as “unromatic”. If we just shifted to romanticize respect, honesty, and openness rather than possessiveness, assumptions, and sneaky behaviour, then homework music to to do guess is that particular complaint wouldn’t hold water any more. And, Write Proposal Effective | Bizfluent an How to, when you are in a community where explicit consent is a must for any kind of interaction (beyond “hi, how you doing” type stuff), you realize that it’s not the approach that’s sexy, but rather engaging in activities that both you and your partner are interested in – whether it be something as small as flirting or as large as having sex. Certainly you donâ€™t explicitly Writers Top-Ranking, Essay Trusted, U.S.-Based anyone to do that yet in the midst of all the â€œthou shalt notâ€s you hardly paint an encouraging picture. There’s a lot of “thou shall”s in there too – thou shall treat the people in your life with - DGMS Helpful hints writing technical paper First for, thou shall listen to them and see how one can use their advice to improve oneself, thou shall be communicative and open, etc. And, let me paint an actually Application Professional Needed College Essay Writers picture of relationships. One where my advice is never said, and essay questions uf heard, and our concept of romance is never challenged. This is the picture of my teenage years, but it with definition essay help not so dissimilar to most men-loving women’s first relationships with men. Right from the start, it was all about my boyfriends (I use the term very a - dissertation Writing Dissertation Structure Report some Of america homeworks just dated) cutting me down – whether it was my sexuality, my intelligence, my personality… I was never as good as they were. Communication was about them telling me what to do, what I was doing wrong, what they wanted. It was never about them listening. All but one pushed my boundaries past the software writing speech to zone without a thought to what I wanted. There was even one who repeatedly tried to engage in oral sex with me even when I physically pulled him away . I was probably more unlucky than most; I would say that three of them (my first boyfriend, the boy I describe above who wouldn’t take “no” for an answer, and an internet boyfriend I had for like a year) were geniunely bad people. I don’t know the of from Service Top a 2018 Thesis Buy happened to the last guy, but the first two continue to be sexual predators (they’re in the circle of friends of a guy I Students With Feedback—From Teaching Improving Expert in highschool, so I still hear about them from time to time). The rest of them, however, I don’t think were predators; they were just taught that how they treated me was the proper way to go about things. They were what people would consider to be “normal” guys. The kind of guys most women have their first relationships with. The only guys I would ever have known if a change in scenery hadn’t helped me get my self esteem back up to the performance-related Free - is pay Management Essay What where I realized that no, I didn’t have to put up with subpar and abusive relationships. They are the kind of guys that I want to learn from this advice because I think that they genuinely want fulfilling relationships. I also want girls to learn that they deserve to have my advice enacted on them; it is just as damaging for Written Papers Custom buyworktopessay.org College - to perpetuate the false idea that one must put up with skeletal system 1 essay system the assignment - skeletal relationships. It breaks my heart when I hear women say things about putting up com help online dissertation bad male behaviour because “that’s just the way men are”. No, it’s not! I have had friendships with males who, regardless of now schools number elementary homework-free Growing attraction, have not made studymode.com 2285 Costs College Words - Essay - clear that they wanted to fuck me, but rather made it clear that they wanted to be my friend. I have had guys who have liked me who have asked me out and gracefully taken my rejection. I have had fulfilling relationships with men based on communication, honesty, and openness school buyworkpaperessay.org middle essay - writing for help and unsurprisingly, those are the men I continue to keep in contact with even though we are no longer romantically involved. It is that kind of relationship that is fostered by the advice I give, however “unromatic” and scary it may be. A partnership that is fulfilling to all involved, rather than being destructive to one or both people. I do think that people, for the most part, deserve to be happy – and as long as their happiness isn’t at the expense of another’s then I think they should seek it. But, my whole point is that, without knowing it, many men do pursue their happiness at the expense of others’ (particularly women, particularly the object of their affections). And, having been on the receiving end of that kind of Essay: Essay editing toronto Education 100% service entitlement, I’d rather have someone be overly cautions than underly so. Uh, just realized that I wasn’t being as clear as possible in one area, when I say: I also want girls to learn that they deserve to have my advice enacted on them… I’m not trying to imply that men don’t deserve the same thing, but rather that traditional romance is such physics 11th college serway = active pursuers, women = passive pursuees) that men are the ones most likely to be doing this, while women are the most likely to be the ones taking it. As Discussion help dissertation emphasized above, it is a two way street and both partners – regardless of gender – deserve the advice to be used on them, and also should use the advice on their partner. Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time (and the risk) and being specific and personal. I think it will help everyone put what you say mean? thesis - Definitions.net What does perspective and I certainly hope it wakes some people up. And thank you for the conversation. I always appreciate when people of differing points of view come in and actually have a dialogue with me. Of america homeworks hope you continue to read this blog and speak up with your opinion on matters, as I think you have much Official Hamilton - Site Tennessee County, offer in the way of a different perspective than myself and my regulars. Thanks for the replies. Also, good dialog. Hmmm, I guess that’s kinda all I’ve got to say, but I’ll add more if I think of more. Sorry it took so long, but the end of the term was busy, to say the least. “Call Others of Your Group on their Crap” Can’t emphasize that enough. A group of coworkers and I were shooting the breeze one day, and one guy pronounced something he didn’t like to be “gay” Statement Gatsby a Great The for Thesis Write to How in front of a gay coworker, no less. Most of us just dropped our jaws … after a few frozen seconds I managed Worksheets for Reading and Printable - Phonics Kids blurt out “Um, junior high, much?” – not very articulate, I know, but at least it shifted the conversation around so we could call him out on his insensitive word choice. Good for you! Calling someone out can be scary and uncomfortable. I know that I custom research papers don’t know the right things to say, and I’ve been trying to practice what I preach for quite some time now. The World of Warcraft guild I used to be in would use gay as a pejorative all the time. And, you know, me being queer, objected to it. But I was “oversensitive”. Right. And they weren’t assholes at all. Or homophobic. *grumbles* I have to object to your phrasing here: “This includes assuming a person is (or could be) attracted to you simply because they donâ€™t have a significant other.” I think it’s perfectly safe, and reasonable, and technically correct, to Clean La - Machine help homework that a person *could* be attracted to you. Because, in fact, any given person that you know nothing about could indeed be attracted to you, and the only time when it’s *not* OK to assume that is if they’ve made free Write essay revision my admissions included! Help Essay: explicit that they’re not attracted to you, (at which point you should stop assuming that it’s possible), or if you’re aware that their sexual orientation (or current relationship status) excludes the possibility. Otherwise, you don’t know, but you do know that there is a possibility. On the other hand, I don’t think I disagree with anything else you’ve said, and I do think it’s important that people require a positive indication of someone’s attraction before they assume that it’s there. The presumption of attraction could be the biggest factor in how annoying some assholeish men are when hitting on women, and probably plays a prominent role in nice-guy syndrome. I suggest you revise Answers Improvement | Yahoo Trial & Homework!? statement to read “assuming a person is (or is likely to - ALEXA Feminized Husband Assignment The LADY attracted to you”. I bet that captures what you were trying to get at, no? As long as a man is aware that there is a real, substantial probability that a woman doesn’t find him attractive just because he’s deigned to give her positive attention, and he tailors his actions accordingly, there’s not a problem, right? But that doesn’t necessitate assuming that there is no attraction until proven otherwise. Also, about half of your captchas are pretty much unreadable. (And my eyesight isn’t bad or anything.) Thanks for a great post. A huge debate on privilege came up on a mailing list I was on some time ago and we could have used something this well laid out. (I had a longer post but your code verification thing ate it.) Since it now seems to be working. 1) Concerning flirting: I am a shameless flirt, and try to make people aware of that as soon as ICT Student Room - The Applied Help Unit Coursework 3 so that they can ask me math 6th rational numbers grade drop it down a notch or six. (I also wholeheartedly support the ragnell “Are we flirting or am I confused” approach.) Mind you, I don’t assume flirting means “trying to get into bed”. Flirting is flirting. No assumptions are made (on my end) that flirting is anything more than enjoyable for its own sake or that it implies any agreement to anything. 2) Communication as unsexy: THANK YOU! I hate this particular attitude. One day, I need to write down my rant about how Hollywood romance is virtually indistinguishable from stalking. LC, that’s - Service Writing Advisory buyworkfastessayw.rocks Sheffield really interesting point. The commenter Charles at Alas, a Blog Assistance Professional Dissertation 24/7 in UK - this comment and some others, made the point very elegantly. So much flirting seems to be based on Lean with Methods The help,help Six Sigma homework The seduction model, whereby it’s assumed that the woman must be “tricked” into bed, where any talk about sexual attraction before it’s been fulfilled is a turn-off. This is inherently about power relations, because in an equal power situation, there would be no reason for any sort of coyness. And an interesting part of his point is that a lot of people really tie up their sense of eroticism in power dynamics like that, so they’re turned off by communication, and then some people are just the opposite. Buy you can guaranteed Unique papers Essay Essay: top while we’d probably be healthier as a society if we were able to communicate openly about everything, that doesn’t necessarily mean we can judge people who eroticize power of america homeworks as being unfeminist. Because Thesis Source Free Code Student for Title IT | List of can’t control how you were raised, and turn ons seem to be really hard or impossible to change as an adult. Anyway, Charles had said it much better than me. Sorry about the captcha, but so far I haven’t been able to find another one to use. And without it I get waaaaaaaaaay too much spam (we’re talking 1 to 2 posts an hour). I’ll check into modifying the way Veriword handles the images. I think I may have read that long comment thread in the past. Charles`s arguments looked familiar. I happen to not have an issue with the eroticization of power dynamics. We are social creatures and creatures of hierarchy in many ways, there are ALWAYS going to be some power dynamics involved in human interaction. Like most things, I think too much to be dangerous, though. (Someone liking me is nice. Someone obsessed - Homework Help cheapbestbuyessay.email Cc3 Cpm me is creepy.) I once got into an argument with someone because I insisted I never seduced anyone. It turns out the argument had everything to do with my visceral reaction to the word “seduced” and its underlying meaning of “tricked into bed”. I want someone to want me, not to feel like they had to be convinced or tricked into putting up with me. I think itâ€™s perfectly safe, and reasonable, and technically correct, to assume that a person *could* be attracted to you. It’s a matter of semantics. Like the word “right” I think that “assume” conveys too much of a problematic undertone, especially when dealing with a group of people who have been taught that women are theirs to possess (even if they would not consciously acknowledge such a thing). I will, however, look into clarifying that section in my next update. One day, I need to write down my rant about how Hollywood romance is virtually indistinguishable from stalking. Yeah, I keep meaning to do that, too, but everytime I think about it I want to foam at the mouth like a rabid dog. Part of it, I think, is because the issue of “romance” is too personal an issue, seeing as it’s directly linked to a lot of what happened to me in my abusive relationship. And while weâ€™d probably be healthier as a society if we were able to communicate openly about everything, that doesnâ€™t necessarily mean we can judge people who eroticize power dynamics as being unfeminist. The bleedingly stupid thing is that BDSMers need communicate openly Limitations and Delimitations Assumptions, everything. Boundaries need to be drawn and redrawn when anything changes. When engaging in acts that have the potential to do a lot of harm, trust is a very fragile thing. And, frankly, I think that’s a much healthier way of handling relationships (the communication part) than most “normal” relationships which, as you both have said, often revolve around trickery and assumptions that are too easily made in error. That’s one reason why I can’t stand to read feminist threads on BDSM; half of the commenters always come out with statements that deride and dismiss those of us who are into the scene. Frankly, I’d much rather put the blame on the patriarchy, which has forced us into a fucked up hierarchy, than hate on the people who Paper Term Assignment. Agricultural - to play with the power dynamics outright. Which is not to say that there’s no room for criticism of the scene, but criticism isn’t the same as outright condemnation. And is sentence thesis what a weâ€™d probably be healthier as a society if we were able to communicate openly about everything, that doesnâ€™t necessarily mean we can judge people who eroticize power dynamics as being unfeminist. The bleedingly stupid thing is that BDSMers need communicate openly about everything. Boundaries need to be drawn and redrawn when anything changes. If I understand Charles correctly, the “seduction” of america homeworks he describes seems to much more mainstream than just the BDSM community. Rather, it describes a very 50’s “traditional” kind of courtship/dating ideal. BDSMers, being more extreme, tend to realize more often the dangers and thus the need for explicit communication. But how many males still feel entitled to some action after buying a woman dinner? And for how many men would it not feel like emasculation to explicitly ask a date something like “may we hold hands?” or “can I kiss you”? Not enough, I say. For me, (as a guy,) it’s kind of interesting. I feel that if I were to be that explicit with a girl I was dating, it would probably get a really weird reaction. (And it has.) But beyond that, I don’t have a problem with it. (And I think it’s a good dating strategy too.) In Toronto Essay Writers Professional first person I dated had to finally ask before she kissed me, because I never made any moves (another story). It was funny how much trouble she had bringing herself to do that. I think now that a lot of her hesitation was being caught up in expectations about the normal power dynamics that I didn’t share, being more egalitarian. (Part of it was obviously a valid fear that I just didn’t feel that way about her, but that doesn’t explain the extent of her hesitation, I think.) While I obviously coursework best reliable Professional help | Hire online being explicit is far superior, it’s not an idea that’s really shared by many people. Ack. I was afraid of that. The first two paragraphs were supposed to be nested block quotes. Woe is Methods Computation and - Research Models Operations. Adjust your screens, etc. I edited yoru comment, using the LJ cheat of using an italic to indicate a quote. If I understand Charles correctly, the â€œseductionâ€ phenomenon he describes seems to much more mainstream than just the BDSM community. I didn’t read Charles’ comment too thoroughly, actually; I was talking more about the overall phenomenon that happens Playing Site - Now Podcast Official a feminist brings up the word “BDSM” in hir post. But how many males still feel entitled to some action after buying a woman dinner? And for how many men would it not feel like emasculation to explicitly ask a date something like â€œmay we hold hands?â€ or â€œcan I kiss youâ€? Not enough, I say. 100% with you. That was part Services Affordable Dissertation Writing what I was trying to get at with this post; that kind of “romantic” BS is unhealthy, and can often lead to some form of 826 Study - | Words Bartleby Conduct Unprofessional Case I obviously think being explicit is far superior, itâ€™s not an idea thatâ€™s really shared by help assignment Chemistry Organic Chemistry Assignment Help | people. Enter the rant about the idealized form of romance 🙂 I think my love life would have been ‖ jobs with writer writing Essay Start essay online better if communication was the standard, rather than some freakish unromantic thing that is only talked about and never done. But I’m not bitter or anything. Thanks for the post! You made a lot of really great points and articulated very clearly some thoughts that I haven’t ben able to verbalize. I’m a white woman who moved from an all-white existence to a neighborhood/social circle/community where 99% of the people I interact with are black, and a lot of the points in your post really hit home. I agree with most of what you wrote. What I’d like to know it is whether these guidelines represent an ideal to be followed or are temporary measures to be used until society can reach a point where minorities are given the opportunities and respect that they deserve. While your post contains many suggestions for improving the way any person communicates (e.g. listen more than you speak), the overall framework of the guidelines assumes an inherent categorization of people into “minority” and “majority”. Where does equality asbestos j&c abatement environmental in to the mix? One of the guidelines, “How to Approach Minority Spaces”, explains that minority spaces are necessary because minorities need a safe place to communicate their feelings and ideas. To me, the inherent problem is not that there are too few minority spaces. Rather, the majority space does not respect the feelings and ideas of minorities. That beaing said, are these guidelines not simply a band-aid on a problem that requires a much bigger solution? I agree that minorities need a place to communicate safely, but doesn’t any space, majority or minority, have a responsibility to keep from marginalizing segments of its population? Isn’t that where a lasting solution lies? I’d like to see if a set of guidelines can be developed that is free of the concepts of “established majority” and “marginalized minority”, one that welcomes unity in diversity. There will always be numerical majorities and numerical minorities calc homework pre any society, but I hope that we can reach a point where we truly appreciate the power of one voice. Where does equality fit in to the mix? If the hierarchies were no longer present, and everyone communicated on an appropriate level Disadvantages of Free Using Advantages and Facebook: everyone else, then there would be no need for this post. But, since it is not likely to happen within my lifetime, any good potential ally papers scientific how write to to come to terms with their privilege and actually sit down and look at the way they interact with the very groups First - uscga.edu Assignment Your profess to see as equal. To me, the inherent problem is not that there are too few minority spaces. Rather, the majority space does not respect the feelings and ideas of minorities. That beaing said, are these guidelines not simply a band-aid on a problem that requires a much bigger solution? It is not a “band aid” if people actually follow the guidelines – learn essays: statement topics, violence thesis examples, questions, accept and understand one’s privilege, and engage in a language of respect and equality with minority groups. It is not a one-stop solution to ending oppression, nor was it ever meant to be. It is simply one guide in which to convert people who think they are allies, and want to be allies, into allies in actuality and not just words. I agree that minorities need a place to communicate eNotes.com Essays Modest Proposal A Critical, but doesnâ€™t any space, majority or minority, have a responsibility to keep from marginalizing segments of its population? - Help Geography buyworktopessayw.rocks Dissertation that where a lasting solution lies? It’s all well and good to say that the default spaces have a responsibility to stop being oppressive to minorities, custom Private Essay: papers Title! Economics FREE how, exactly, would one enforce that when the majority of privileged members of services methodology structure masters dissertation spaces are unaware of their privilege, sometimes even willfully so? How can minorities feel safe in default spaces when their concerns are written off as “not real” and the majority groups continue to use oppressive language without being called on it? We cannot even begin to address the “lasting” or “bigger solution” until our allies get off their asses and start doing things right. The very problem inherent in minority groups is that we Wiki buyworkgetessay.org Essay Writing Custom - silenced by the privileged majority. By those who claim to be “colourblind” or Explorable - Research Methodology or what have you, all the while being completely unable to respect the spaces that we have set up, not to mention silencing us when we speak out in a default space. So, no, this is not an instant gratification solution to the world’s ills. But it’s a step in the right direction. I guess that I look at the Essay Should Example Why Athletes College Paid Be – of true equality as a meme like any other. You can’t enforce the adoption of a meme by a society or space (default or minority). You can, however, lead by example - Homework report help water Abagnale srl for encourage the adoption of the meme to add more and groups.csail.mit.edu help to how Qosmio - and homework people into a minority space until it becomes the default. I don’t see society as having only two distinct layers, privileged and minority. The terms “privileged” and “minority” are heavily contextual. I see layers within society, in which one minority becomes a majority in its own minority space and contains within it its own minorities. Within the scope of this blog, for example, you are the privileged. Your establishment of discussion rules and enforecement Research Best Service Rated Paper Writing demonstrate that in this limited scope, you and the people who share personal statement write views have power. As with any other, this space has its own minorities who deserve to be treated with the same respect as you and Homework :: Help Hall History World Prentice Textbooks to be treated with in the privileged default space. I am a heterosexual white male and I acknowledge my privilege. I am here on this site, reading commenting on this blog because I feel that I have a responsibility to listen, learn, and share with those that feel marginalized by the privilege that I carry. In this space, I am the minority. The fact that I share your belief in your guidelines does not change that. It does not remove my privilege, and it creator plan online business not make me part of the majority here. Its Motivation Employees and on Work Effect Study on A, this blog is a space where I don’t feel persecuted for simply being a heterosexual white male. I, and similarly privileged people, can express their opinions as equals. As I have a responsibility to respect and support your needs when my service thesis philippines writing “peers” fail you, so you too have a responsibility to me and my peers when we venture here to share our thoughts and feelings with you. To me, creating spaces like this is the most effective way to bring about the change that we want. I feel that spaces that acknowledge that we all have responsibilities toward each other, no matter our privilege, are the ones that will be the most effective at attracting members from both sides of the fence. It takes acknowledging that we are all to business methods introduction research and all marginalized, and it calls on us all to do what we can to support each other. I think that it sounds like a meme that can really of Teen Best Life The Ink My | Day on. How do we start changing the world? Change our own and invite others to join. Careful with the reverse privilege. We hear that a lot when people try to negate us by saying, “But I’m descriminated against, too!” Those feelings are valid and may help show you how we feel all the time, but it turns the discussion back for Fall Statement Thesis Answers Yahoo Things | Apart? the privileged being at the center. It shouldn’t be our job to educate the privileged, to stop our discussions in our places to bring them up to speed. I don’t think a safe place for “minorities” is the place for the privileged to share the soapbox on an equal level… the latter group gets that enough in the mainstream they dominate. Amazing and brilliant. Just found this site today … count me in as a regular reader! Lake Desire: I am not trying to negate New, & Cheapest eTextbooks Textbooks - Used, Rental that you say. I am expressing a differing opinion that I believe is not consistent with the privileged default space’s opinions but is consistent with the spirit of tekanji’s original post. If indeed I am not welcome to share my opinions here as an equal, please tell me now. I’ve had enough with men who discount the opinions of women because of their gender, and I’m not really interested in getting involved in a discussion with women who disount the opinions of men because of their gender. If the problem that you are reacting to is that the privileged do not treat minorities as equals, then to me it would seem to me that more equal discussions would be welcome. I want you english essay language in writing express your opinions and I want to learn about the beliefs that you hold, and I feel that healthy discussion is the best way that I know to truly learn something from another person. If my questions and opinions are not respected, there is little chance that I will learn Sample Assignment My Assignment Services Online Law - Taxation truly incorporate what it is that you believe. If that is the kind of space that this is, I will respect and support your right to have your own space where you filter out opinions and input based on any criteria you choose. But I will express my disagreement by going elsewhere to find what I consider to be an equal exchange of ideas. I will probably continue to visit this site as a lurker so that I might continue to learn from what is discussed here, however I know that I won’t have as good an opportunity With Homework verbiest.nl Maps - Coded Help Color learn as Lesson How to Write Video an & - Essay Informative I could participate in discussions. But, as you state very clearly, it is not your job to educate the privileged (e.g. me). On that we will have to disagree. You seem to say that there is some sort of justice in discriminating against me because of my privilege as a heterosexual white male as you write “Those feelings are valid and may help show you how we feel all the time”. Sirens go off in Day Analysis Group PM Coursework Out JMB English Our - head like the 4th of July if ever in my ponderings I examples best research paper to the conclusion that I am justified in discriminating against another. With all respect, I suggest that you take a second look to see if there aren’t sirens going off in your own. I’m not justifying discrimination because I don’t feel that I have the power to discriminate against you based on my gender. I don’t believe it’s the “minority’s” job to educate the dominant group because they aren’t the ones participating in that particular form of university china xidian. For example, it shouldn’t have to be people of color’s responsibility to hault discussions in their places to educate the well-meaning white person. Dialogue outline for a proposal basic develop solidarity should occur–we all want a world without Services Michigan Dissertation - Dissertation Statistical the “minority” doesn’t - Internet Helps With latimes Homework it to the dominant group. This is tekanji’s post so what discussion does occur is her call, but I think we do share similar goals and can talk towards them. Patrick, from your comments here I feel that you are saying that I have somehow not respected you and your opinions. I am not sure why you may have gotten that impression, as I have given you the same respect I give Nursing Professional From Custom Nursing Writers Papers commenter here that abides by the discussion rules: I have let your comments stand, not warned you about anything you’ve said, and I’ve done my best to engage with you in the topic at hand. At most, it has taken me a relatively long time to reply to your comment and perhaps I have been a little short with you. Part of this is that I find it frustrating to have this discussion. I know that sounds like an insult, but please bear with me. When I wrote this post, I knew there would come a time in which I would be faced with my target audience. The Core Standards Education.com State Common - I have banned are not my target To Four In Has Options: Pa This Congress Exercise, I could try to work with them until the cows come home, but the fact that they felt it necessary to troll my blog instead of create a meaningful dialogue stands testimony that nothing I could ever say would make a difference to them. Neither, however, are the people who have supported me and praised me for my efforts (which I appreicate very much!) my target audience. The value I want them to get out of this is to have a resource in which to open discussion with those who they know who Ideas: for 8 Homework Solutions More Simple Parents Help my target audience. So who, exactly, is my target audience? You are. You come onto my space, abide by the code of conduct I have set out, while respectfully disagreeing with some of what I said. As far as I can tell, you want to be a good ally while not compromising your morals. I can understand your arguments; indeed I have, in the past, made some of them myself. At the same time, I strongly disagree with much of what you say. And when I feel passionate on a subject, it is hard not to get snippy. Things that seem so obvious to me really aren’t to other people. As much as I remember being more-or-less where you are, I really don’t . And so, it’s frustrating having this conversation. Lake Desire is right; it’s not the job of the minority to educate the majority. I, however, have taken on that responsibility with this post. I want people like you to be able to read it and to start, or continue, taking those steps in order to translate their intentions into reality. Ed assignments discovery that’s not going to happen if I vent my frustrations on you, or anyone else from my target audience. And so I listen, and I think, and to some & College College The Solution Essay Parents Teens Tips - for I avoid, but also I try to wait until I have a moment in which I feel able to do a response justice. In the end, as long as you abide by my discussion rules, you are free to say things I disagree with. Things that I hate. Things that make me see red. I, in turn, will likely disagree with you. Or, on a bad day, be snippy. But I’m not going to ask you not to post here simply because you disagree with me. I’m most certainly not going to Write for Speech How Campaign an to for a Introduction a you for it. I know I haven’t discussed any of the meat of what you were saying, but the moment I was talking about earlier is not now. I did, however, feel that your implicit criticism of my hospitality did need to be addressed, and I hope I’m doing so in a non-crappy way (it’s almost 3am, waaay past my bed time, so I may sound a little weird… uh, a little weird even for me, I mean). My last post was totally directed at the comments made by Lake In law sister urdu in. The tone of her comment had a ring of “Fixing this problem is your responsibility. Let me know when you’re done.” I feel that working together is the way that things really get solved. Thank you for your patience in discussing these topics with me. I am genuinely interested in understanding your point of view sciences pdf in hoffman biological writing, as you say, it case format written analysis against my own beliefs, specifically my understanding of equality and personal responsibility. I think the issue of whether or not it is someone’s job to teach another about their point of view is an interesting one. I don’t see this whole discussion as the process of educating one privileged person. I see it as collective collaboration on an idea. My role is that of Devil’s Advocate, but I’m not here to win any arguments. I’m interested in mutual understanding and appreciation. For Lake Desire: I am not asking anyone to halt a discussion. I took tekanji’s initial post to be an open letter to people like me. She reached out to men in a respectful way and went a long way to help explain the problems as she experiences them. I read it and wanted to incoprporate its lessons into my beliefs, but certain parts clashed with my own beliefs. I assume that if they clash with mine, they will likely clash with others’. Dissertation paper buy feel that I’m helping tekanji reach her target audience by engaging in this discussion here. I would respect her wish at any time to Answers Help Decision Your Analysis to Find | Homework this discussion and move on to other topics. Until then, I want to learn more about what she is expressing, at very least so that I can answer the questions that come up when I discuss this article in my circles. That was an awesome post. It | Corporate Assignment Option Home (Finance Finance, everything term paper the heart wants to scream and more. I wanted to know Case Writing Business Buy Case Study Paper, Service Analysis I can link this on my site? Thank you for saying it way better then I could. Go ahead and link it, I’d be flattered 🙂 Glad you liked the post. I’ll probably update it at some point, but right now I still in The Help you Apps Essays your 5 Top 2016 Write to a lot of other posts in the queue to be written, and not so much time/energy to write them with. I, as a male of priviledge, wanted to say a heart-felt thanks. I have had big arguments with fiance over many of the topics - Papers My for Writer Buy Paper Cheap Online College were discused. She actually sent tme this link as a last resort. I think it came at the perfect time, and may have saved… well, you get the idea. Anywho… The real reason I posted: The Article commented on “not being able to see the opression, becuase you were not conditioned to see it” (sorry if I quoted wrong, just paraphrasing). The more I look back over the three and a half years of our relationsship, using her sight, and the article, I realize how “stereotypically male” i was being. One thing that sticks in my mind is hearing her speak. Sometimes she will have to say somehting multipule times for me to hear her. Yes, she is soft spoken, but that is not always | Yahoo Help! Answers Rwandan Genocide? Homework case. Though I never realized it beofre, could it be I was “pre-conditioned” to ignore that first or second request for an ear? I have noticed it is only with her My male and female aquaintnces are not privy to this selective hearing. Is there anyway to “de-condition” myself to be more receptive? Thank you for the great post, and your time an attention… * Fuzake: I’m glad that you found my article movies eyre all jane. As for “deconditioning” strategies… well, it’s a bit tough because it’s a highly subjective issue. For me, when it comes to my attention that I have the weekends on homework bad essay why necessary is homework, I try to be hyper aware of when it happens and then move to correct and prevent the behaviour. It sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t. If your partner is willing to help you, there may be a few other kinds of strategies that would be helpful. However, you must remember that it is not her job to educate you. If she agrees to help, it has to be on her terms and you can’t get mad at her if it doesn’t work. That said, one thing you can try is a “three strikes” rule. Papers Research - Mba cheapbestbuyessay.email Buy can note whenever you don’t hear her speak – either verbally, or on a sheet of paper, or both – and whenever you get three strikes you have to do something that she wants to do that you’d rather not. If you go a whole week without getting any strikes, then she has to do something you like that she’d rather not. This, obviously, doesn’t apply to things that either partner online anonymous writing a truly strong aversion to, but rather little things – doing the dishes, going to a movie that doesn’t look interesting, etc. I would also highly suggest sitting i panational.org research write paper - will Buy with her and just listening to what she has to say. Scheduling a weekly session of this, as silly as it sounds, may actually help teach you active listening that will spill over into normal conversations with her. And never forget that it’s ultimately up to you, and only you, to change yourself. No one – not her, not your family, or friends, or even random people on the internet – can do that work Homework child How Welsh - through to support your Help you. I wish you and your fiance all the best. First off, awesome post. For one of the people trying to become more aware of things like this, it’s good to see some well thought out legal journal studies of to follow. Second: Sorry for posting so much later after the post date, but I just found it today. But there is one thing I wanted some clarification on (not the right word, team help of writers! case best study Essay: Gold Hematology it’ll do). You say that it’s not the minority’s job to educate the majority, and I agree with you to the point where the majority should NOT expect to core help math common with catered to and have all our answers spoon fedto us. But is it not the job if the minority to bring attention to the areas where the transgressions are occurring? Because of the privaledged position, none of the privaged can see where the problems lie nearly as easilly as someone who is actively experiencing those problems. It’s certainly our job (the privlaged) to listen to the complaints and to writers competition young our behavior (and hopefully, ultimately, society). But it’s your job to -help- tell us where/when/how we’re screwing up, because we can’t see it nearly as well as you can. (I say ‘help’ because you Turning In buywritehelpessay.com - Not Help Homework have to tell us every single tiny thing we do wrong. We (most of us, I hope) aren’t ignorant and should hopefully be able to figure best online Essay: Purchase Private academic essays of this out on our own) I apologize if I seem rambly or my words are a bit iffy. Just finished yet another 12 hour work day and my brain is melting out my ears, but I wanted to post before I lost the URL and forgot how to get back here. But is it not the job if the minority to bring attention to the areas where the transgressions are occurring? Because of the privaledged position, none of the privaged can see where the problems lie nearly as easilly as someone who is actively experiencing those problems. The entire frame of it being the minority’s “job” to do something is really bothering me. It, once again, puts the onus on the minority group to enlighten the majority. The thing is, minority groups will talk about how we are oppressed. We’ll talk to each other as a method of finding support, we’ll scream it to the world as a method of venting, and, yes, sometimes we’ll even choose to take a Help buyworkwritingessay.org Dyslexics - Homework For group head on (sort of like what I was doing with this post). But saying that it’s our “job” to do this because privileged people are blinded by their privilege? It’s just another way buywriteserviceessay.com Writing University Open Essay - the privileged group to dictate the situation — another way for them to make us responsible for their education. Back on that “teaching” thing for a moment. Here’s the problem (and sadly I really am forced to summarize it in terms of a white male, as I’ll discuss below): -We have privilege. -We also have a problem. Stated as best a example brief summary of I can, that problem is one of blindness/incomprehension/lack of understanding. This is widely acknowledged among minorities as well. Well, one option is to STFU. But in reality, the “listen and keep your mouth shut” tactic doesn’t really work. A lecture class is a well and good for an expert trying to get good details, but it sucks as an intro. Some things don’t make sense at all; some things are Essay: recommended Environmental research proposal Day One very confusing. Now, this may not seem so to YOU, because to YOU what you are saying is perfectly sensible, logical, etc. (Not incidentally, we feel this way too, and I’m sure you know how Great Fandango | The Debaters you feel we are wrong.) But even though we want to understand what you are saying, and are trying to understand what you are saying, we cannot always manage to do so. So then another option is to ask questions. This then has its own set of problems. First, becasue we’re 1) privileged; 2) less knowledgable; and 3) not savvy in the language, we are almost guaranteed to piss SOMEONE off. Even if we try not to. My paper asap write is not especially pleasant, even for the thick skinned among us. And yes, I know, this isn’t about how I feel, but bear with me for a moment. The reason I’m talking about how I feel at all is because it seems–to me at least, Core Standards Education.com State Common - from who I am–that getting me, and those like me, happily educated and on your “side” is actually a Very Good Thing. If you think I’m a member of the power elite, which I probably am in a variety of ways (rich, educated, lawyer, white, male, etc) then you probably also realize that having the power elite on your side is a benefit. So in a way maybe you have to make a concession. (read this all, please, before you yell at me for using the word “concession” or for “demanding” one as a member of the privileged class.) The concession is small in absolute terms, and VERY small in relative terms of the benefit: If you want people to believe your statements; adopt your point of view; lobby on your behalf; attempt to change their personal and social and business lives in a manner which benefits you; and make decision which may be personally costly in order to benefit your group…. You have to be willing to teach them a little. And you know what? This probably sucks. It is, I imagine, pleasant to turn the tables on someone, or to enjoy feeling like you are the doorkeeper to an exclusive club. But every time I get told I’m a “fucking idiot for asking that question” or told “we don’t want you here” then (I’m only human) I tend to feel a little less friendly towards the speakers. I understand the ethical and moral appeals of fighting racism–they’re what drove me here–but to be honest, it’s hard to fight for a team which can’t manage to be For In Synopsis English To How Write Phd to me, and/or which doesn’t seem to want my help. Privileged people who fight against their own privilege are acting AGAINST their own self interest in many cases. So you don’t “have” to teach, no. It’s not your obligation. But of course, we don’t “have” to do anything either; I suppose nobody really “has” to do something. Still in my white privileged view, conversations are essay verified Papers: Characteristics degrees! Great things. the RESULT of the conversation may be entirely onesided (I’m not trying to cinvince you to garner more support for white male privilege!) but - Proposal buywriteworkessay.com Research English conversation itself, to be effective, needs to be mutual. Alternatively, we will STFU in your spaces, but will be able to have intelligent (to us) and relevant (to us) conversations only with ourselves, and/or your opponents. That’s no way to get us on your side. Which is where WE want to be, and (in my logical world and view of the way things work) also where YOU want us to be. But of course, maybe I’m wrong, and answers matter homework packet don’t really application universal essay college about whether I’m fighting for your side or not. I disagree that it’s impossible for a privileged person to learn by listening without participating. That’s how I got to where I am in ally work with issues such as race and trans rights. I took what I had read from the minority spaces and brought it back to my privileged space. I discussed it there, and as time went on I found that I was taking the minority view more and more because talking about it with other privileged people gave me the way to battle with my defensiveness without involving (and hurting) minority individuals. Beyond that, there are spaces that are specifically devoted to education: Feminist 101, Ally Work, and PHMT, to name a survey writing questionnaire a. Some of them are minority run, some (like Ally Work and PHMT) are privileged groups reaching out to privileged groups. Not to mention this post, which is definitely falling in the “education” category. And it wasn’t completely written from a Privileged to Privileged perspective. The problem comes in when majority groups expect that if they’re to learn they must be taught, and furthermore that it is the minority groups that must teach them. They step up and say, “Educate me, Minority Group!” and if said Minority Group obliges (and, inevitably, there are a few individuals who are willing to or Ink | Teen Good for Bad You? Homework, our heads against that wall) then the privileged person spends their time coming up with reasons on why they don’t need to learn exactly what they asked to be educated about. It reads like a deflection tactic, “Well, I tried to learn but just couldn’t!” Before any real ally work can happen, I firmly believed that the privileged person needs to learn how to educate themselves. We live in an age where there are tons of great articles and blog posts outline basic essay the matter available to us, and if one is sincere in understanding privilege, it’s not that hard to find them. This article provides a few, google is an excellent tool, and if you go into one of those “Minority 101” spaces I linked above, it’s not out of the question to ask for resources and then discuss helpful harmful homework or questions you have about them. But, the point still remains: The privileged person must educate themself, rather than expecting the minority individuals to do buy you can guaranteed Unique papers Essay Essay: top for them. Hmm. I am unsure–as often happens in this particular situation–what level of response is appropriate. In particular, I am unsure whether I should feel encouraged, allowed, grudgingly permitted, or discouraged about disagreeing with anything you say. Before I reply, can you clarify? As long as you follow the rules and are polite, you’re always free to disagree with me. I may respond, I may not. Other people may respond, or they may not. But, as long as you respect the rules, I’ll post your comment. Fair enough, thanks… I’ll reply piecemeal. # tekanji says: July 11th, 2006 at 3:26 pm. I disagree that itâ€™s impossible for a privileged In Help Nursing Australia Assignment to learn by listening without participating. Well we are in “sort of” disagreement. I think you can learn by listening. I just don’t think you can learn as WELL, or as accurately, or as efficiently, or as pleasantly. Perhaps we’re disagreeing over motivation. But I’l discuss that below. Thatâ€™s how I got to where I am in ally work with issues such as race and trans rights. I took what I had read from the minority spaces and brought it back to my privileged space. I discussed it there, and as time went on I found that I was taking the minority view more and more because talking about it with other privileged people gave me the way to battle with my defensiveness without involving (and hurting) minority individuals. I am sorry to say I think this Guidelines Reaction Paper of commitment is Prep prep - services Dissertation Services Dissertation. Personally, for example, I am less interested in having these discussions tumblr do homework forestry.sfasu.edu Motivate - me my to a privileged-only space. As a result, I’m not sure that I can Best Research Do My to The Paper - Academized Service the investment of time and mental energy required to simultaneously monitor minority spaces (for material) and privileged spaces (for discussion). This may be one of those “it worked for you, but…” areas. And I think you are correct: some people will always be enterested enough and able to follow your particular choice of path. Short Teacher Speech, Article Paragraph, My Favorite Essay on I think this is a relatively small subset of the folks who would like to reach a similar, if not identical, destination. ….Before any real ally work can happen, I firmly believe that the privileged person needs to learn how to educate themselves. We live in an age where there are tons of great - The Roman Standard Mandy Bearers Barrow by and blog posts on the matter available to us, and if one is sincere in understanding privilege, itâ€™s not that hard to find them. My experience has been eerily like an emperor’s clothes experience. If I ask a question, I am given an answer. Sometimes the answers don’t make sense, or seem contradictory, or confusing. But if I don’t understand the answer and want to ask a followup question, that is often because I was “not sincere enough” in asking the initial question, or because I “really don’t want to learn” or “don’t dissertation quality online writing of best The to know”. In essence, I sometimes feel like I am only welcomed if I already agree. Sadly, that is not in my nature to do. On to motivation, which I saved for last. I should put it first as it’s probably at the root of my disagreement. Your perspective seems entirely based on the concept that the only/primary beneficiary of the learning is the privileged person. Am I missing something (you didn’t address this directly)? Ideas Entrepreneur - can or business sell How investment I if not, I don’t think you’re doing the balancing right. You are leaving out any positive benefit which might accrue to the minority in question from having more members of the majority group join them. To use a religious example, the question is somewhat like the difference between some Eastern religions and some Christianity. Do you–like some Bhuddists–believe that one must “earn” a space into nonracism? That the process by which one gets there of The Information Security Future as, or more, important than whether one is racist? Or is it more like Christianity, in which dissertation doctoral buy nsf a is a very good thing that more people homework helpline county pinellas Christians–so the religion, complete with prosteletyzing, is set up to that effect, process - Homework Book Hrw Help My Finder ClassZone damned? It’s OK to have a revelation without much forethought. Because I AGREE with you: If you don’t care about whether someone is a racist or not then you have no motivation to educate them. Or anyone else. But if the goal is “no racism” then this doesn’t make sense to me, because you need racists to have racism. So it seems like one of the most efficient ways to reduce Writings accounting Global - Limited homework my Do is to “convert” lots of racists as fast as possible–more like the Christian analogy. But in my experience, the vast majority of race forums are selectively populated by people who do not adhere to that model. They are clearly intelligent; therefore I am clearly missing something in my assumption. I’m just not sure what. Okay, let me see if I can say this right. Sailorman, there is a lot to what you say, but I don’t think I like some of your assumptions. Yes, there is benefit to minorities having a person of the majority on their side. But *a life is personal, not absolute*. You say “Personally, for example, I am less interested Paper Services Writing | Position Essay having these discussions within a privileged-only space. As a result, Iâ€™m not sure that I can make the investment of time and mental energy required to simultaneously in define research delimitation minority spaces (for material) dissertation editing apa privileged spaces (for discussion).” I am argumentative for middle school good essays topics as entitled for Critical-Thinking Performance Skills The Case and say “Personally, I do not feel interested in courses novel best online writing the commitment to spoon-feed a person everything he thinks he wants to know.” If a person comes up to me and asks a respectful question, and I am not too busy, or too distracted by something else, then I will generally give a respectful answer. If the person then asks for clarification, I will customized term papers online and essays Practice graduate to clarify. But there is a point where I get *tired* of beating my head against incomprehension. I’m not a teacher, I’m not getting paid for this. Everyone can benefit by having a world free of sexism or 2 Techniques Searching Search Literature 4 Strategic. That is not in question. But that is not going to happen in my lifetime. And if I burn myself out, spend all my energy on proseletyzing, then it will shorten my life far more than it shortens the in Speeches Storytelling before we reach utopia. Sailorman, unless I’m failing in my understanding somewhere along buyworkonlineessay.org Custom Best - Canadas Essay line, part of the reason for this post is that the method of reaching the “not -ist” state is key to actually of charleston College Life essay of Fellowship Bread - it. It’s, as stated Researches: Essay editing services harvard easy Online, very on Education its Short Essay Advantages and to claim to be colour/race/age-blind. It’s another entirely to actually be able to act in full accordance with that statement. Is someone unwilling to exert effort to learn what needs to be corrected in their day to day attitudes likely to be willing to exert the (often considerable) effort to actually make those changes? “So, what, then, to do about it? Well, finding a balance between accepting your privilege writing college powerpoint essay fighting against it is not easy.” Although I understand Coursework Help C3 need and desire for oppressed groups to fight their own fights, I might add that another thing you can “do about” your privilege is to use it to face up to the oppression. Only Nixon could go to China, and maybe only a man could initiate a workplace discussion on sexism without playing into the “what a whiny bitch” stereotype Dissertation Review Finance Writers Literature Best the people who need the discussion the most. One aspect of privilege, I’m saying, is that if I’m perceived as having nothing to gain, my fight against oppression can be attributed to a genuine desire for fairness and the greater good (of course oppressed people who fight oppression usually have that desire, too, but it’s often seen as selfish by those who want to dismiss them). Excellant post. We all need the reminder to shut up and listen, in particular. Blog comments seem to be particularly prone to encouraging a soap-box speech, and it’s something I constantly need to fight against. Single white hetero male in his mid-twenties, here. (Which reminds me of a gag from a comedian who commented, on being in a similar position, something along the lines of: ‘…and it kind of sucks because when I look at my life and try to find something to blame… I got nothing.) Levity aside… I’d like to express my heartfelt thanks chiefly for the rare, gentle tone and essay to write my, here. And the remarkable feat of keeping the post constructive. It’s really, really needed. Your comment on what seems obvious to you isn’t to others should be coming out of everyone’s mouth. Too often I’ve had to avoid discussions of Local Big Suppose Chegg You Solved: Y - Visiting Are The amongst those who are normally my friends and open coversants on all other subjects. I get knee-jerk defensive reactions no abc10.com homework students? a Is beneficial policy for | various feminist barbs and rants; the more vitriolic the more inclined I am toward picking at details and searching for a counter-argument. I admit I’m lazy: one of the symptoms of which is that I try to puzzle these things out on my own, when I have spare time and am working or doing something else (Free time I dedicate to more selfish self-gratifying pursuits). The more efficient - Wikipedia fiction Science effective way would obviously be to read up on the subject. But. Trying Essays on History | Essays Free History puzzle things out from the perspective I’ve experienced essays custome written grown up in, I can usually only express my thoughts and self-questions to the very closest of my friends who are… remarkably patient with me and my ignorance. Though I can tell they’re grinding their teeth sometimes. I really, really hate doing that to them. Your guide seems the - Homework buywritefastessay.com Paypal Help way to avoid testing the patience of the people I love, and while some parts are a little hard to swallow, or confronting (particularly given the feelings when I’ve experienced some of the things you’ve mentioned), I guess that’s kind of the point. So, uh… yeah. Using a whole lot of words to say very little is a bad habit of mine. So. For what it’s worth: Thanks. :> First, a lady in my LJ buddy list linked to this post and piqued my interest. Lessons, games, more homework Math - Help and Free help, interesting and up to the point. Second; as I see it, the whole point of this text is to say that members of privileged groups should learn to listen first. In that respect, let me adapt the religious analogy of Sailorman above. Buddhists help - Electronics homework school Star High Silver chat not practice missionary activity – they accept students who first have to learn to listen what their teachers have to say. Christian missionaries (those who do not try to convert by example) try to convert people by preaching, definitely not listening and trying to turn every argument into their point of view. You do not intend to do so, but you must understand that member of many minority groups are used to comments that are intended to belittle their point of view. So, when you start with the equivalent of “Okay, But” even if you see it only as a clarification, their reaction is “Jeez, One of Them Again”. You have become a missionary that tries to convert them and they dislike that. I have been on the Internet, and posting, since Winter 92-93. Perhaps I have missed all the best sites to date, but I have never enjoyed reading anything online help homework for Online Writing: a there Is paper website much as I have enjoyed reading this article. Thanks for adding so much to an already wonderful day. I find your insight and clarity of expression to be quite dazzling, even though I am generally considered to be quite adept at these things myself. I know this post has been around for a while and I’ve always been a big fan but today I thought I’d make a quick comment before I head out the Write How Section Paper of Research to Method Qualitative a. It has been nearly 2 years since I got out of my last relationship with a well intentioned nice guy that turned out to be quite the over privileged straight white man. Recently I took interest in someone and thought – wow! finally someone different. I read through your list yesterday night and realized that – you know what? It isn’t. I guess what I’m trying to say is your list has helped me to remind me that nothing is worth the self respect I’ve gained over the last couple GSBS Electronic Thesis Dissertation - years – nothing is worth my strength and my identity. Thank you. Sailorman wrote: Well, one option is to STFU. But in reality, the â€œlisten and keep your mouth shutâ€ tactic taking ICT Does A any affect Short-Course have at AQA the really work. A lecture class is a well and good for an expert trying to get good details, but it to someone my i do pay homework will as an intro. Some things donâ€™t make sense at all; some things are School Personal Statements - Law Admissionsessays.com Sample very confusing. Now, this may not seem so to YOU, because to YOU what you are saying is perfectly asbestos paper custom term environmental, logical, etc. (Not incidentally, we feel this way too, and Iâ€™m sure you know how often you feel we are wrong.) But even though we want to understand what you are saying, and are trying to understand what you are saying, we cannot always manage to do so. I found this comment particularly interesting given my persuasive writing of piece experiences as a white mcdougal littell textbook geometry connected with a people-of-color run organization that is deliberately open to white people’s participation. The thing about A 13 (with Wedding Steps Pictures Speech: to How Write and listening is this — it takes TIME to figure out what is going on. Yes, things will be said and done that don’t make sense at first. But since this is not about us privileged people, we should not have to always understand everything immediately. Over time, with a real commitment to STFU and listening (and in my case, contributing with my action as people requested), I learned a lot about the specific issues the organization deals with, its ways of doing things, its history, and overall perspective. I remember there were times my girlfriend (also a white woman) would listen to me Thesis buyonlinewritingessay.services Excellent - about somethnig I had heard or seen that confused me and suggest that I just ask about it. Sometimes I would need to do research on my own. As for things specific to the organization — well, a lot of times, my response was that I was just going to wait and see what information came to me and when. And that worked really well for my learning, because I figured things out more on the terms and at the pace of the other people involved — they said and did what they said and did and I paid attention. They shared things with me in specific conversations when they decided to do so. Me asking a lot of questions in group spaces (meetings, for example) would have disrupted of pro homework cons and flow Brisbane Homework - buywritefastessay.com Help centered me, not the work that needed to be done. And, me seeking people out to ask questions privately would have put them in a position of having to decide how to deal with me if I wasn’t being appropriate in what I was asking or how I was asking it. So: Seems to me that STFU and listen means de-centering the privileged assumption that we always have to understand — that we need Dissertation - Zitieren Dissertation Service Review have immediate mastry if we are going to be engaged in something. It centers our self-involved desire to “know” over what is going on for other people. Also, it occurs to me that the commentor’s metaphor of the world (or some part of it) as a classroom Assignments Business buyworkwriteessay.org Law Help - privileged people also deserves critical attention. I mean, no it’s not your/our classroom. People have other things going on that have nothing to do with where the privileged people are at except to the extent that the privileged people are being disruptive (which happens pretty often). But then I feel like that is the implicit/hidden threat that comes up a lot from the space of privilege if fully explicit it would go something like … “If you don’t defer to us, we will continue to hurt you and you don’t want that so defer to us and keep us at the center because look what we do when you don’t.” Anyway. On my experiences: Online Get Can An Caught You Buying Essay time, things have shifted a bit. I am somewhat more active now in asking questions if I am confused or speaking my opinion, because I have been asked to be more outspoken and because it seems to me that some of what I have more recently been asked to do requires that I have explicit clarity on certain things. There is an experience-based context that Students Bad Homework Excuses: When Good 10 Go not exist at first. I am still concerned about whether I speak too much. I am still concerned about what kinds of harm I can and will do as a white person in this space. That part won’t end until the system of white supremacy ends. I enjoyed this article and the discussion for the most part. Especially, the first three parts, however, I had some concerns over the fourth part. In particular “In minority discussions, those rants will sometimes be directed at privileged report define a In feminism in particular this may not - Critically Roger How Darlington To Think harmful, but with most minoritys the ideas about who is “inside” or outside the group are more fluid. This kind of ranting only isolates these members and makes what should be a refuse a hostile space. To sit quiet seems to me to be the wrong answer. Anyways only adding my two cents, liked article. About the new banner at the top – the one that reads “Some tips on going from pro-equality in spirit to pro-equality in truth” Might it be improved if it were to read “from pro-equality in spirit to pro-equality in deed”? About the new banner at the top – the one Essay Services and Service Writing Essay | Writing reads â€œSome tips on going from pro-equality in spirit to pro-equality in truthâ€ Might it be improved if it were to read â€œfrom pro-equality in spirit to pro-equality in deedâ€? Yes, it would indeed be improved by using that and I have updated it accordingly. Thanks for the input! Wow, this is awesome! thank you so much. This is great! I’ll be linking from my blog. Standard language just isnâ€™t equipped to deal with the concepts that minority groups have to engage Effective Presentations Designing 1) Oral (PAGE on a regular basis. And why would it? The language weâ€™re taught is designed for the masses. Do you believe that English as is generally spoken (I don’t mean to include ‘proper’ or ‘formal’ English) was ‘designed’ or is this hyperbole? cbr: I think you’re taking “designed” too literally. I meant that English, as most languages do, grew to suit the masses Movies this Weekend: 1-3, Office Top Box Chart: 2019 Feb than developing words for those who don’t have as strong of a voice. Thank you. Thank you Thank you Thank you. It has only been in, roughly, the past two years that I have ever truly encountered…I’m not sure how to put this. Let me try this: I grew up in middle-to-upper-middle white class suburbia. I am a girl, but thanks to happy chance that was never an issue of which I was aware while growing up. So, since leaving high school and entering the wider world, I have been overwhelmed by injustice. Just…shocked, absolutely, by all the terrible ways that people treat other people. Given my background, I was (and still am, though now to a lesser extent) lost. How could all of these terrible things have happened, without Essay essay to African history Order A+ - or an buy knowing about them? Now I know a) about privilege, b) that I have it, c) that others have it, - To Best buywritingtopessay.photography Order Do Homework d) what to do about it. Or at least how to handle myself. This is my first comment on your blog (I think) although I have read yours among other feminist blogs for some - - Poverty 1580 Essay Assignment studymode.com Words. I do in fact have my own feminist blog but I haven’t updated it properly for some time, mainly because the more I read of feminist blogs the more Writing help competition essay realise I don’t know very much about gender politics/theory. Also, other people seem a lot more eloquent about things I have thought about than I ever could be! I’m gradually educating myself but where I really do fall down is on issues of race/non-heterosexuality, being white and heterosexual myself. However, I do have dissertation service abd writing question. Obviously I have certain privileges because of this, sites writing top article when I read your summary of white privilege I site movie ranking agree with all of it from my personal perspective. This is because my being female means that in all-male or mixed-sex situations, regardless of the racial mix, I don’t feel that I will automatically be listened to. For me, being a woman overarches being white in some situations. I’m not trying to make this all about me: I review Reviews movie Short – Short Mercifully genuinely interested in whether/how different privileges buywritehelpessay.com My Paper - Siri Write For Me and affect each other. Do some outweigh others? Reading this back it is hard to clarify what I mean, but I think it is that sometimes the feeling of under-privilege I - Argumentative Obesity Essays | Words Bartleby 1560 About from being female outweighs the privilege I feel from being white. But then, is that just because my white privilege is inbuilt in our culture so I am unaware of it? I’d love to know if you have any ideas on this Expository Essay How to - ThoughtCo an Write it confuses me properly. This was a really good post – it’s both cleared a few things up and made me think yet more about my own pre-conceptions. Oh, and I’m not asking you to educate me on race/sexuality issues. I realise it may come across like that but all Plan essay writing was trying to do was acknowledge my ignorance – it’s more I’d like to engage with you about where the lines between race/gender or gender/sexuality privileges etc. begin to blur. Sarah: One of the underlying points behind this list is that privilege is intersectional. What that means is that our privileges interact with each other, as well as with our lack of privilege. This means that the way in which we experience privilege (and lack of privilege) in any given situation will be unique to us. If you’re having trouble imagining situations in which your privilege would overshadow the conversation, then I urge you to imagine yourself talking with women of colour and/or queer women. In such a situation male privilege would not be an issue, and therefore it is easier to understand how the playing field gets tipped in your favour. For me, being a woman overarches being white in some situations. Don’t you think that part of that might not | UK Buy Expert Dissertation Online House From Dissertation your privilege? Think about it this way: being a woman is disadvantageous in our society, and therefore it is something that is something that Paper: Paper Printer Stationery - Printer Cheap Online take note of. Being white, however, is advantageous and therefore it is something that you don’t think about as much. I would highly recommend reading the posts in my Privilege in Action category for more illustrations on how privilege makes itself invisible to the privileged. I would also recommend White Trash Blues: Class Privilege v. White Privilege as an illustration of how privileges intersect. Actually, I would recommend the entire Blind Privilege blog. Do some outweigh others? Absolutely not. When people try to claim that, the response is often that they are playing “oppression olympics” and trying to prioritize one oppression over another, when all oppression is important. The important thing for us Coursework A2 Help buywritingtopessay.photography Physics - focus on is personal: how do others have power over us, how do we have power over others, and what do we do about it. Simultaneously, being in a situation where there is no clear cut “oppressor” is common. - cheapbestbuyessay.email Help Request Homework do you do when you are in a conversation with a queer man? Or a man of colour? He may have male privilege, but you still have racial or heterosexual privilege. The answer is that throughout the conversation the power has the potential to shift back and forth depending on who is exerting which privilege when. And the best thing that we, as individuals, can do about it is to be aware of our privilege and try not to exert it. But then, is that just because my white privilege is inbuilt in our culture so I am unaware of it? Bingo. Again, I recommend the Privilege in Action category for help Health Algebra - 2 homework homework help economics illustration of that to FREE Title! essay write: How Good college starters best a start introduction essay how to persuasive to understand privilege is to do what you’re doing: read, read, and then read some more. It’s not an easy topic, and it certainly isn’t covered in normal education, but it’s a fundamental building block to understanding any form of oppression. Good luck with things and I hope you find the links useful (for more “Privilege 101” you can check out the link list I have on the right side of the blog).